stressss

MUMU dan PUPU

sampe kapan gw akan seperti ini ?

gw heran aja gtu. kenapaaaa ya. mengapa. kenapa. orang2 kyaknya udah jijik kalo ngeliuat tampang gw. kucel. ga pernah sisiran. haha.

ga pernah make hand body,

lusuh ngeliatnya.

hahhaa

itu semua adalah sengaja teman. sengaja banget. 

biar ga ada orang yag naksir. ]

cos, biasanya naksir tu karena lucu dan keren

lha gw????????

hahha

waktu gw pacaran sama dia

pertama, gw mu bilang. bahwa cerita sebulan kisah gw ini adalh cerita yang biasa aja, geje, tapi punya banyak arti. khususnya bwt gw sendiri.


hari itu klo ga slah hari rabu, kn lg lburan skul gtuu.. D rmh ada sdr yg menginep. Alhasil, otomatis, dan pastinya, Gw tdur di sofa sperti biasa insomnia lah gw.. Krena skitar 1minggunya gw bru aja putus sma co gw tersayang abank oscar hansen rumahorbo
dan stelah itu, gw bilang sma diri gw sendiri : jgn sdih nyonkk..smpe kpnpun loe gkn pernah jdi 1 sma dya. dr situ gw mulai bangkit. Dan gw pun tdur . Jam1 pagi itu.. gw liat d kotak online tmen2, soalnya..biasanya ada temen gw yang namanya ega kodok suka ol malem gitu.
trus ada satu tmn ternyata yang ol. gw gk tau itu siapa. nicknya ***freakz
jujur, dari duluu gw pengen bgt ol sama itu ID. trus knpa pgn ol brg? alesan'y 1 gw kira itu ID tmn'y si kodok.. Kn tmn'y kodok lucu2 noh.hahai pas itu,gw sapa dya aja, dr situ kamipun bersua brsama sampe jam3 pagi ,dan bertukar nmor handphone. Ksimpulan y malem itu gw ga sedih lagi deh .
dari situ kita kenal. telpon2 dan kamipun terus bersua,bertemu.. jalan bersama,dll klo gw sih enjoy2 aja toh gw slalu brusaha bersyukur dgn apa yg gw dapat. karena itu lebih baik. dan slama itu masih baik dan tidak ada penekanan sih rasanya baik2 aja

lama. lama




di satu sisi gw merasa gw ga pantes buat dya. dan di sisi lain, gw sayang sama dya. dari situ, asumsi buruk mulai berkembang dalam otak gw. Terus berputar sampai gw sakit lagi Teman2 bilang, gw gak boleh stres dan tetep biasa aja


sampe banyak masalah yang menimpa kita

di awal2 gw marah,gw emosi. Tapi lama2 gw berfikir bahwa sesungguhnya dya gak pernah merasa gw ada buat dya, dya sepertinya memang gak sayang sama gw, dan berbagai asumsi lah yg mengarah pada 'gw itu gak pantes buat dya'
gw cuma anak kecil yang gak tau apa-apa
dan ...




setiap setelah shalat fardu gw tidak lupa slalu memohon ditunjukan yg terbaik. Dan sepertinya Dia mendengar doa gw. Berbagai teman memberi bnyak dkungan yg membuat gw berfikir,tman gw yg psikolog,ustadzah,dan banyak lagi yang selalu memberikan sinyal positif sama gw


gw takut dya gak bhagia sma gw. Itu aja. Gw takut gw hanya jdi beban buat dya. Beberapa temannya malah membuat gw smakin ga pantes buat dya. Kenapa sih gw mikir gitu terus? Semua pendapat,pertanyaan mereka mengarah pada hal itu.


sampe akhirnya salah paham


dya gak mengerti



dya bilang gw salah


dya bilang gw egois



dya bilang gw itu picik




dya bilang gw adalah "ngga bgt dan neugh"



gw pun putus sama dya,



sumpahnya,,,
gw ga habis fikir

why
why
why

tapi semua udah terlanjur. dya ga pernah mw mencoba untuk mencoba berusaha dan beritikad baik memperbaiki hubungan ini. dan ya sudahlah

FINALLY  kita putus dan sampe detik ini dia atu pun gw udah saling benci satu sama lain. biarlahhh

loving you

Ring, ring it's you again heart pops
I loved to hear you
It's been all day I've been waiting for you
Hello, you call my name
So much stories you shared with me
You said a lot to me about girls
Oh, it's so nice
And every beauty thing they did to you
Don't stop and tell me more'

Loving you it hurt sometimes
I'm standing here you just don't bye
I'm always there you just don't feel
Or you just don't wanna feel
Don't wanna be hurt that way
It doesn't mean I'm givin' up
I wanna give you more
And more and more'

Knock, knock you came around heart pops
I loved to see you
It's been two years since I'm love with you
Bum! Bum! You break my heart
You said, girl I'm in love with her
But it's all right, I'm still alive yeah' ohh'
And all the beauty things she did to you
Don't stop and tell me more

this is promise you >

Ohh ohh...

When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..

And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...

And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby

Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you

Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you...

karena kamu : aku jadi begini

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far 

Because of you
I will never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid 

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with 

Because of you
I will never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid 

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I will never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid 

Because of you
Because of you

my immortal ,

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

[Chorus]

ku ingin selamanya : for pupu

cinta adalah misteri dalam hidupku
yang tak pernah ku tahu akhirnya
namun tak seperti cintaku pada dirimu
yang harus tergenapi dalam kisah hidupku

Reff: 
ku ingin slamanya mencintai dirimu
sampai saat ku akan menutup mata dan hidupku
ku ingin slamanya ada di sampingmu
menyayangi dirimu sampai waktu kan memanggilku

ku berharap abadi dalam hidupku
mencintamu bahagia untukku
karena kasihku hanya untuk dirimu
selamanya kan tetap milikmu

di relung sukmaku
ku labuhkan sluruh cintaku
di hembus nafasku
ku abadikan sluruh kasih dan sayangku

the blower daughter : hihihihi

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her skies

I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you...
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

my boo

Usher: There's always that one person that will always have your heart You never see it coming cause you're blinded from the start Know that you're that one for me, it's clear for everyone to see Ooh baby, you will always be my boo Jermaine Depri I don't know about y'all but I know about us and uhh it's the only way we know how to rock (repeat) Usher Verse Do you remember girl, who was the one who gave you your first kiss Cause I remember girl who was the one who said put your lips like this Even before all the fame and people screaming your name Girl I was there and you were my baby Chorus 1:Usher It started when we were younger and you were mine (my boo) Now another brothers' taken over but its' still in your eyes (my boo) Even though we use to argue it's alright (it's alright girl, that's okay) And if we haven't seen each other in a while, but you will always be my boo Chorus 2: Beyonce I loved you when we were younger you were mine And when I see from time to time I still feel like, And if I see you no matter how I try to hide And even though there's another man who's in my life, you will always be my boo Beyonce Verse Yes I remember boy, cause after we kissed I'm never gonna whipe my lips Yes I remember boy, that you were the one I would grow old with Even before all the fame and people screaming your name Boy I was there and you were my baby Chorus 1: Usher It started when we were younger and you were mine (my boo) Now another brothers' taken over but its' still in your eyes (my boo) Even though we use to argue it's alright (it's alright girl, that's okay) And if we haven't seen each other in a while, but you will always be my boo Chorus 2: Beyonce It started when we were younger and you were mine (my boo) And see from time from time i still feel like(my boo) See no matter how i try to hide (it's alright now, it's okay) even though there's another man in my life you will always be my boo Bridge My ooh my ohh my ohh my ohh my boo (repeat) Usher It started when we were younger and you were mine (my boo) Now another brothers' taken over but its' still in your eyes (my boo) Even though we use to argue it's alright (it's alright, it's okay) And if we haven't seen each other in a while, but you will always be my boo

sampai kapan * maliq n d'essential

menantikanmu dalam jiwaku
sabarku menunggu
berharap sendiri
aku mencoba
merindukan bayanganmu
karena hanyalah bayanganmu yang ada

hangat mentari dan terangnya rembulan
mengiringi hari-hariku yang tetap tanpa kehadiranmu
indahnya pelangi yang terbit kala sinar matamu menembus relung hatiku

pantaskah diriku ingin mengharapkan
suatu yang lebih dari hanya sekedar perhatian
dari dirimu yang kau anggap biasa saja

atau mestikah ku simpan dalam diri
lalu kuendapkan rasa ini terus selama-lamanya

diriku cinta dirimu
dan hanya itulah satu
yang aku tak jujur kepadamu
kuingin engkau mengerti
mungkinkah engkau sadari
cinta yang ada di hatiku
tanpa sepatah katapun ku ucapkan padamu

oh sayang
dapatkah aku memanggilmu sayang

sampai kapan
akupun tak sanggup tuk pastikan
kudapat memendam seluruh rasa ini

dengarlah jeritan hatiku untukmu oh
dan aku ingin engkau mengerti apa yang dihatiku
sanubariku kita kan berdua selamanya

hanya kau yang bisa

this song from maliq, special for my baby always.

Begitu berharga saat bersamamu
Kau buat kulupa akan batasan waktu
Begitu bermakna apa yang tlah tercipta
Memang seharusnya ku tak mengerti

Bridge :
Tak cukup kata kata
Tak perlu aku bicara
Sudah percayalah saja

Chorus :
Hanyalah dirimu yang bisa
Membuat diriku merasa
Seakan melayang
Seolah kuterbang
Hanyalah dirimu yang mampu
Membuat diriku begitu
Mewujudkan khayalan menjadi kenyataan

Kau adalah warna warni dalam hatiku
Kau hapuskan duka hanya suka yang ada
Betapa berarti peranmu ada disini
Mengisi bagian hidupku

dia

Temukan apa arti di balik cerita
hati ini terasa berbunga-bunga
membuat seakan aku melayang terbuai asmara

adakah satu arti dibalik tatapan
tersipu malu akan sebuah senyuman
membuat suasana menjadi nyata
begitu indahnya

dia seperti apa yang selalu kunantikan, akuinginkan
dia melihatku apa adanya seakan ku sempurna

tanpa buai kata tercuri hatiku
dia tunjukan dengan tulus cintanya
terasa berbeda
saat bersamanya
aku jatuh cinta

dia seperti apa yang selalu kunantikan, kuinginkan
dia oh dia melihatku apa adanya seakan ku sempurna
dia seperti apa yang selalu kunantikan, akuinginkan
dia melihatku apa adanya seakan ku sempurna

dia bukakan pintu hatiku yang lama tak bisa
percayakan cinta hingga dia disni
memberi cinta ku harapan

dia seperti apa yang selalu kunantikan, akuinginkan
dia melihatku apa adanya seakan ku sempurna
dia seperti apa yang kunantikan, akuinginkan
dia dia melihatku apa adanya seakan ku sempurna

give me your love
give me your love now
so come on and love me
come on and love me

sebuah pengakuan *

yang kita inginkan kadang ta selalu berjalan mulus..
hidup ga selalu menuntut kita untuk meraihnya,, tapi manusia terlalu serakah,,
malah terkadang yang kita inginkan tidak selalu menjadikan kita bahagia..

Tuhan tau kok,,
siapa yang tulus dan tidak tulus..
siapa yang rela dan terpaksa..
dan siapa yang menghardik dan yang memuja..

tuhan,,
terkadang aku merasa diri ini hina adanya,,
ta tau apa yang selama ini aku perbuat benar atau salah..
tapi dosa selalu membayangi diri..

kadang senyum dan duka ini terus terpatri dalam hidup.
tapi aku tak ingin hanya itu,,
TAPI, APA MAKNA DIBALIK SEMUA ITU?

aku ingin pergi dari kalian yang menapikkan diriku
aku ingin pergi dari kalian yang mengahardikku
apa gunanya bila terpaksa
apa gunaya bila sebenarnya kalian hanya MEMANFAATKAN AKU?

tolonglah..
mengerti
dan jangan lalukan ini lagi*

my first love gw * LEBAI tapi menyenangkan

ini adalah keluh kesah gw ketika kembali teringat dirinya #

*bintank.bintank dlangit.blgn sm kang aka yg ud prgi 3taun lalu.akk ggal lg kang.kpn akg kmbli ksni.n3 btuh akg..huhuhu.qt ntn d bsm lg,bc mjlh2 lg...

*bintank2 dlngit..blgn sm kang aka* n3 udh dpt dy kng,tp akhrny ggal lg.gmn ath kng?n3 pgn'y sm akg ajj.akg tu sgla'y.tp knp akg prgi dluan?...

*bintank2 dlngit,blgn k akg aka lg* akg tw,dr smw co cm akg yg trbaik,plink ngrti,plink bkn akk ngrs ad.tp knp akg prgi bgtu cpet?..akg tw.mrka smw tu egois,jhat,gd yg ky akg. huuu.. andaikn wkt bs bputr lg. akk akn jga akg..jgn smp akg prgi ky gni.akg tuu 'everlasting love'nya aku

^saiiank akg aka.slalu.slmanya.smp kpnpun.trus ad dhti.wlpun smw co akk brengsek.tp akg dlu slu blg.mreka gtw kmu.mreka tu g prnh tw kmu.#trie.aka#

dia adalah 

RUDI AKA SUBANDI

alumni SMA BPI  1 Bandung yang sekarang ntah ada dimana...

gw kangen loe...sangat kang *

TUHAN ITU MAHA KUASA *

ya TUHAN... maafkan saya..saya yang telah banyak menyakiti..
ibu dan bapak...terutama..

kini, saya pun tersadar,, bahwa semua gak akan da artinya...
bagaimana saya begitu memuja sesuatu yang semu, sedangkan sesuatu yang sejati itu ada di depan mata..

pasrah ya TUHAN,
niat baik pun kini tak ada artinya,
ketika semua orang kini telah menjauh.
telah terhapus karena ulah saya sendiri.
kini ga akan ada artinya lagi.

sampaikan kata maaf, beribu maaf kepada mereka yang sengaja saya sakiti.
katakan, TUHAN...
"saya bukan orang yang selama ini mereka fikir, saya sengaja melakukannya"


kini, yang terpenting dalam hidup adalah kedua orang tua saya,

saya harus membahagiakannya ,
tinggal hanya saya anak mereka yang harus membahagiakan beliau berdua.

terima kasih kepada teman2 yang selalu ada disamping saya,
terima kasih.
terima kasih untuk orang2 yang selama ini menyakiti saya,
KARENA KALIAN TELAH MEMBUAT SAYA BEGITU MENYADARI
maafkan.

dan sekarang terserah TUHAN yang akan memberikan petunjukNya,
saya ikhlas, apapun.
tapi jangan korbankan lagi kedua orang tua saya.
mereka berdua adalah pelita hidup saya.

knpa sama gue?

eng..
Adonnow..
Gw ngrasa keanehan ni sjak kls 1SMA.
Lupa si.
Tp gw msi inget.
Emmmhhh..
Ad sesuatu yg aneh dgn diri gw.
Bgni..
Gw selalu pny gambaran ttg msa dpn org lain
Dan gw bsa sdkit menganalisis kpribadian org tu bgmn,wlpun gw g knal org ithu.
Lyat mtany aja bpengaruh bsarr..
Ampunn
Wallahualambisshawab si.
Tp ..
Bner ga sih?
Trbukti.
Bnyak kjadian yg bkin gw aneh sndiri.
What.
Ko yg trjadi,yg gw pkirin.
Ko sfat dya,sperti yg gw fkir si. Anehhh
Tp adonnow.
Gw ga mw mendahului kehendak ALLAH.

s O Me DA y ..*

Someday you'll gonna realize
One day you'll see through my eyes
But then i won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if i can't

I know
You don't really see my worth
You think your the last guy on earth
Well I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

But now
I know you can't tell
I'm down,and I'm not down anyway
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday




(by nina)


especially for my dark LOVE *
really miss you

when you love someone ...

I love you but it’s not so easy to make you here with me
I wanna touch and hold you forever
But you’re still in my dream
And I can't stand to wait ‘till nite is coming to my life
But I still have a time to break a silence
When you love someone
just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
when you hold your love
don’t ever let it go
or you will loose your chance
to make your dreams come true...
I used to hide and watch you from a distance and i knew you realized
I was looking for a time to get closer at least to say... “hello”
And I can’t stand to wait your love is coming to my life
When you love someone
just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
when you hold your love
don’t ever let it go
or you will loose your chance
to make your dreams come true...
And I never thought that I’m so strong
I stuck on you and wait so long
but when love comes it can’t be wrong
Don’t ever give up just try and try to get what you want
Cause love will find the way....
When you love someone
just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
when you hold your love
don’t ever let it go
or you will loose your chance
to make your dreams come true...


(endah n resha )



this song especially for someone *odddooohhhh..oddooooohhhhhh*